Life in a nutshell (x2, x3)

Two tiny souls just waiting to explode upon the scene
with hopes yet unfounded but certainly waiting to break free

Even after these days of being laid up in a bed that wouldn't let me sleep,
I've only come to realize how long I wish that inside my over-ripened belly you'd keep

No home for any of us because we're obviously simply too much to bear
but please don't fret because your mommy promises her unwavering love will never not be there.

©fkm2012

I wrote the original version of this poem back in April 2010 but made a few minor edits so figured I'd post it again instead of simply updating the other version only to leave it forever and eternally unread.

I choose the contents carefully as I will soon bear their flavor but my heart can't contain
the pain so it spills over and contaminates every ounce of the otherwise succulent ingredients inside

Each and every bite is delectable
as the taste has seemingly eroded your better judgement
until at last the epiphany of the blood-tinged taste finally resides upon your lips

As every time before now,
again I find myself in fragments on the floor,
picking up every piece of familiarity that won't rip my flesh with further deceit
as I rush to Super Glue myself back together so I can once more be passed off for someone else's treat
©fkm2011

Here I lay in bed, awake, as I've been since 7:30. Do I shower or head straight for the gym so the endorphins'll keep me company?

It doesn't matter. None of it does. After all, those resumes won't send themselves and the girl that I used to be would gladly deliver them for me but the woman I am now has no follow-through.

Maybe, just maybe if I smile big enough and stare into the mirror just long enough I can see what everyone else claims to ... or perhaps it'll just drive me to tears like it did the last time and the time before. This twisted up being in the sheets, nobody wants to hire her; she's the face of self-defeat.

So, I have a HUGE confession to make.



I've been standing in my own way for so long now that I don't know how to quit. I know exactly why I started and even that doesn't help me in removing myself as an impediment. I'm my own stumbling stone but there's simply no tossing it to the wind (or water) when I've never been any good at skipping unless it involved my own two feet leading me to where I really didn't want to be anyway.


Like makeup, the smile I've worn as an accessory to my desolation only washes away when I know I'm entirely alone in the torment of these four walls I call home. My upside-down frown keeps me company outside while everyone else hides behind their toothy grins as well but I don't know what love letters they have etched on their hearts. I am, however, certain that mine screams out in pain, of pain, and that it needs something bigger than itself to which it can cling tightly so it can feel alive, find reason to beat and stay in tune because it's always been at least a few notes behind.



In gist, I know nothing at all except the fact that I could successfully function in the most superficial of senses without anyone else ... but my soul is tied to mankind in so much that it falls to pieces (and every ounce of me with it) when I achieve any form of success that doesn't sing their song.

my snowed-in mind

So easily distracted
from the light refracted
off the surface of your smiling eyes
I find myself gasping one moment and giggling the next
when I want nothing so desperately as to doubt any and all of this a lie

One step at a time
helps us find
exactly where our feet
are meant to fall.
©fkm2011

(I'm omitting the context intentionally so if you're confused then it is because it is meant to be. If you understand, however, that's great too.)

"I needed grounding--ties to reality--but now that I'm truly free it is time to let my mind roam as well."